You don't mention what OS you are running, but for #1 on many linux boxes you just type
% chkconfig
to see what is set to start at boot.
To turn apache on, you say
% chkconfig apache on
Similar method on SGI/IRIX. Not sure about Sun/Solaris - been a while.
As for the rest - I used apache once to proxy / reverse proxy a single site when I needed SSL and the only certificate I had was for apache and time was short, etc. in a manner similar to what you are describing, but no details remain in my head :)
Not sure at all about the Virtual Hosting issue, but it does show that you are using myip.com in the example - why not mydomain.com ??
Subdomains - can you just use DNS treachery, er configuration, to get them to all point to the same IP?
