I would like to help (more with feedback than with actual wording since I am no American).
Can the document be separated into
- a local/diff part containing site-specific data and recommendations, and
- a central/head part that can be copied, and ideally could be a basis for versioning and translation?
One recommendation that not everybody will like to copy, for instance, is to accept "all cookies" rather than "session cookies". Also, in Deidre's text, the humourous introduction is great for some audiences but not for all that we would like to target.
If the local end version could be derived by applying diffs to the newest respective head version, this would save much rewriting and adopting efforts.
Matthias