I have to agree with Jade in that I prefer the cohesiveness of Cathy's effort.
My main observations would be that the piece lacks a little flow, it jumps a little and doesn't really link its major points.
Also, at the start I'm not entirely happy with
'OpenACS is the ArsDigita Community System ported to run on free database servers, initially the PostgreSQL RDBMS, while maintaining compatibility with Oracle.'
I think that this sentence kindof reduces the importance of Oracle to a side thought. In actuality the Oracle version is *slightly* better than the postgres one, and even dotLRN are essentiallt leading with Oracle and porting to PG second.
Also, the term 'large datamodel' is not really all that meaningful. Its certainly a comprehensive, cohesive datamodel that has a wide variety of applications. I think the term 'large' makes it sounds unweildy and possibley 'bloated'..
In general I think this page needs to be punchier, but better structured.
Actually, sorry about this I sound like I'm criticising everything. Its a good effort, but I think it does need a few revisions at least.
