I have managed to get fantastic performance from OpenACS even on very modest hardware.
Comparing with Apache MySQL is not really much of an indicator, as OpenACS/AOLServer is a far more comprehesive arrangement, therefore its not unrealstic to be a bit more resource hungry.
I think its most likely the memory thats causing you trouble... 36M really isn't very much... it wasn't very much for about 5-10 years ago. I think your simplest solution might be forking out th $15 or whatever it is for a bit more memory...