Edwin,
give these settings a try, they work for me:
ns_section "ns/server/${server}/modules"
ns_param php ${bindir}/libphp4.so
I haven't followed the AOLServer thread very well but I belief this might be your missing link:
ns_section "ns/server/${server}/module/php"
ns_param map *.php
Good luck.
/Bart
P.S. Don't forget to replace ${server} with whatever applies to your configuration.