I am running several servers on 3.0 and 3.2 versions of OpenBSD and am not seeing the problems you describe. I am using the 3.3.1+ad13 version of AOLserver. I have seen many kinds of weird behavior with the non-ad13 patched source on OpenBSD. I suspect that it is some kind of linking problem or something to do with the makefiles, but have not examined it further.
I have not seen it quite hit 64MB, but I do give it more via ulimit or via login.conf, where you can assign limits based on user class.
A busy OpenACS 3.2.5 based install takes between 30 and 38MB RAM (plus Postgres processes); my 4.6-beta install takes about 42MB, but not much is used and not many packages are installed.
A heavily loaded instance with lots of caching and modules that I run for one of my customers consumes between 40MB when started and about 95-115MB once it has been running for a few days.