If you are not receiving mail on your machine I would suggest not even using sendmail or qmail at all. If you are using ns_sendmail to send mail from AOLServer, you can set the SMTP server you want to send from by specifying MailHost in your nsd.tcl file under "ns/parameters" (I believe even if you are running sendmail or qmail).
Many email relays, such as AOL's, do not accept mail sent from dynamic IPs, even if they do have a domain assigned by dyndns.org. They do this to reduce spam abuse, I suppose.
